Sarcasm aside, I do want to spend some time discussing the Terminator franchise. You see, I hadn't seen any of them, but when the new one's trailers started airing around, I figured I'd do some homework and catch myself up on the lore. Now, I know that Dark Fate is going to essentially retcon everything after T2 as an alternate timeline, but it was still a fun journey that I feel like sharing!
(By the way, I'm not going to be rating these like I did with the MCU Retrospective I did, and I won't be discussing the TV series or web series, just the movies.)
This movie is as old as I am, and it really shows. The budget clearly is small, the special effects haven't aged well, and much of the first half ends up feeling like an accidental period piece, given just how 80s it feels.
And yet, this one is still the best, I think. The pacing stays solid, never letting the down moments take away the urgency of the situation, and the chase scenes just get better with each one. This one feels like a whole movie, and a lot of it has to do with its focus on a handful of characters bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders and no one else can help them.
Of course, a large part of what makes this movie work is Schwarzenegger's presence as the unstoppable killing machine. While technically the villain, it's hard not to deny how awesome he looks as he crashes through things and shoots everything down with relentless force.
While certainly not a perfect movie, and definitely more in the horror genre than any of the others that follow, it still holds up pretty well as a great little movie (special effects notwithstanding, though they do have a charm to them).
Probably the most popular sequel of all time that wasn't already part of a trilogy from the get go, this movie has been hailed and praised as one of the best action movies of all time.
And I don't really like it that much, to be honest. Puts me in a bit of a weird position.
Not that I think it's terrible. The action scenes are still pretty slick, it does have a few iconic scenes, and switching Schwarzenegger's role to that of a good guy is a pretty neat twist.
But beyond that, it's pretty clunky. The pacing is the real issue here, as it jumps from action scenes to weak attempts at being thought-provoking, but the transitions don't feel very natural. It also doesn't help that the main villain, the decently menacing T-1000, sort of disappears from the plot for a while as the heroes work out the Cyberdyne-future problem.
However, the main offender is the poor kid, John Conner himself. Acting as a stereotypical "I'm a rebel 'cuz it's cool" 90s teenager, he's pretty annoying, honestly, dragging the film down with awkward dialogue and vague, shifting motivations. It might be mean to pick on the kid, as good kid actors aren't easy to find, but his presence just makes the whole thing feel like an R-Rated kids' film.
In the end, though, I get the impression that most of this film's hype is based on nostalgia by those who saw it when they were young. And I'm sure it must have seemed like the coolest thing at the time, with it's cutting edge special effects, but I didn't see it then, and it really doesn't resonate with me, now.
So this time, we get the grown up John Conner, which is at least somewhat better, but at the same time, it doesn't seem to have as much iconic scenes or actions, either.
As is natural with sequels, the action gets ramped up even more, and some of those chase scenes are really over the top, but in a good way. I also liked how the story just kept moving. When there wasn't something exploding, they were dropping some pretty decent plot-twists, including the one at the end that I really didn't see coming.
Once again, Schwarzenegger steals the show, as everyone else doesn't seem to have much going for them (though Nick Stahl does show some interesting beats about how a messed-up, adult John Conner would be like). There is something about having a robot good-guy dropping lines in a dead-pan manner that seems to work for me.
While this one got panned as a flat, explosion heavy sequel (which I won't necessarily deny), I did feel like this one had better pacing than T2. Combined with the decent twists, I'm surprised I'm not seeing more retrospective reviews that give this one a bit of a better shake.
Okay, so this one is a little weird, because it's not really a Terminator movie. It's more of a sci-fi, military action movie that just happens to take place in the Terminator universe. It's more like a spin-off that wanted to revel in the future robot war that was always teased in the previous films.
And to be honest, it's not bad. It's not great either, but I think it has its moments, mostly when it buckles down on the hard-hitting military stuff. Finally getting to see human operations during the fight with the machines does have a few payoffs, in a way.
However, the main problem is with the story and the characters. It plays things very straight, not really concerning itself with any of the characters' agency. Instead, it becomes somewhat tedious at times, just pushing things along to a plot line that feels predetermined, especially when remembering the other films will give you a good idea of how things will work out.
Mixing things up is the inclusion of Marcus Wright as a Terminator who thinks he is human. While there is a lot that could be done with the idea, it doesn't really amount to much, in the end. While Sam Worthington does a decent job with it, it's not enough to really make this movie stand above the others in any way.
Certainly, it's a very good looking movie, as the special effects are bigger than ever, but beyond that, it could have easily been a Halo movie or a Star Wars military spin-off just by swapping out the lore and characters.
This is another weird one. Instead of focusing on it's singular time-loop, they decide to mess with things by starting off with a remake of the first film, only for things to go sideways.
While this one was panned as well, I admit I had fun with it. This may have been because my standards were lowed by what I had heard, but I do think it has some pretty fun moments (again, mostly because of Schwarzenegger's acting and delivery; this guy should never not be a Terminator.).
The plot is definitely a mess, though, with some choices feeling weird in hindsight, but it mostly tries to carry through with momentum, and it almost succeeds. It's sort of like reading half-decent fan-fiction or watching a fan film, where half the fun is seeing where the writer is going to take familiar characters and mix things up. It really is mostly a mashup of the first two Terminator films, with some twists to keep things fresh. (Tough teenage Sarah Conner, considering the ramifications of a future that feels set in stone, etc.)
Still a mess is a mess, and I can understand why the next film completely retconned this one out along with the others. Your mileage may vary with this one, but I could kind of groove on its dopey, fanservice-laden energy.
Despite having the most generic subtitle in movie history, this one really does bring the gang back together. Not only do you have Linda Hamilton back, but James Cameron is back on-board as the producer, giving it a proper seal of authority as the "true sequel" to T2. And they do so with a pretty serious twist at the beginning, making absolutely sure that this series is now going down a different path.
Continuity shake-ups aside, the movie hearkens back to the earlier films with one time-traveler helping to protect the future from another time-traveler who is an unstoppable killing machine. As a result, it feels familiar while it's shifting its timeline details around.
While I don't know if this one really elevates the franchise, it's easily the best one since T3, with some pretty over-the-top action scenes and fun character moments, especially between Sarah Conner and this movie's T-800. It doesn't get too bogged down with meaning or poignancy, either, keeping things moving at just the right pace.
One little sidenote I wanted to bring up: even though Arnold Schwarzenegger is in every movie (arguably), he ends up playing a slightly different character each time, which is kind of fun to notice. He really ends up bringing a slightly different nuance each time he's in one of these things.
Overall, not a bad little franchise. While I wouldn't say any of the films do anything amazing, per se, but there are a lot of fun moments had along the way. Perhaps I'm a little odd in thinking that T2 is overrated and the following sequels aren't as bad, but I have to admit I enjoyed my time.
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